...OF THE DAY

LADY PUNCH: I don't know what this woman said, but lord knows she's regretting it now. (Google Video)

PROOF BLONDS WHO TURN A VOWELS HAVE MORE FUN: Vanna White gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That's Vanna 1, Pat 0.(Celebrity Terrorist)

GIRL GONE WILD: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model May Anderson was arrested today for being disruptive and hitting a flight attendant on an airplane. I have a feeling she was treated a lot better by customs officials than the guy they caught with an expired passport.  (Miami herald)

BEST GOSSIP ITEM: Laura Flynn Boyle has vehemently denied rumors that she has arthritis. I'm still not convinced.  (imdb)

The President's New Speechwriters

With this week's big staff shake-up at the White House, President Bush might be on the look-out for  some new speechwriters.  Judging by the work of these elementary students, whose presidential speeches are read (hilariously) by a professional Bush impersonator, Bush might actually benefit from getting some...younger blood into the Oval Office. 

(via Waxy)

MAZEL TOV! Top 5 Best Bar/Bat Mitzvahs Ever

Yesterday, Will Smith visited Jerusalem's Western Wall and crashed Atir Cohen's passage from boy to man. While to 13 year old Cohen who got to take a picture with Smith after he rolled up his Torah, it was the best bar mitzvah ever. Which got us thinking what are some of the best bar mitzvah's ever? Here's a list of our top five:

5. Sasha Dominguez, rented a Ferrari Spider, a hummer and a jet ski and filmed 27 hours of a Mission Impossible-inspired movie about her Bat Mitzvah. 

4. Sarah Gold, Ari Gold's daughter in the HBO show Entourage, had a lavish Beverly Hills style event with hot superstar guests like Vincent Chase (who Sarah even got to dance with!) But the best part was garnering nominal affection from her dad.

3. David Rubin, a scholar of ancient Minoan civilizations, just had his Bar Mitzvah at 89 years old. He's now a man.

2. Elizabeth Brooks, The Rainbow Room, in New York. Forget Aaron Reid's super sweet sixteen, Elizabeth is the queen of the 8th grade. Daddy, Multimillionaire David Brooks, reportedly spent over $10 million to corral superstars like Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Tom Petty, Don Henley, Stevie Nicks, Ciara and DJ AM . For less than a million bucks, 50 cent sang "go shorty, it's your Bat Mitzvah." The party, with it's concert theme, featured jumbotrons and gift bags stuffed with video i-Pods. While the aformentioned musicians jammed all night on the main stage specially built to impress Brooks' 13 year old friends, poor Kenny G was only hired to play during cocktail hour.

1. This guy pictured. Look at him, surrounded buy all these beautiful ladies.(Picture courtesy of BWE panelist Nick Kroll's book Bar Mitzvah Disco)

...OF THE DAY

FERGIE INTERPRETATION: Lisa Rinna's reported "newly inflated lips"  make her look like the Black Eyed Peas' Fergie or someone having a severe allergic reaction.(Celebrity Terrorist)

PANIC ATTACK: If there's ever a time to keep your sh*t together, it's when you're on The Price is Right. Unfortunately, this woman didn't get the memo. (Daily Sixer)

LOW BUDGET PR : Trishelle Canatella's reality pal Katie Doyle denies on her myspace blog that Canatella and Adam Duritz are a couple and confirms they are in fact friends. (Katie's Myspace Blog)

CROSSED LINE: According to TMZ's recent paparazzi footage, Jessica Simpson thinks photographing her at Whole Foods is just going too far. The singer told cameramen, ""It's Whole Foods guys... That's not cool." (TMZ)

SAVORY AFTERBIRTH: You've pictured it mentally, but now you can actually see Tom Cruise eat copious amounts of afterbirth.  (Wow Report)

Do you know what today is?

It's 4/20 !!!! and you know what that means... that's right it's National High Five Day!

So go give your volleyball coach, your cool principal who pairs a suit with a backwards baseball cap, or the guy in the office who is often mistaken for raising his hand, one big juicy, echoing high five.

Because on 4/20 there's no better high than a natural high, right kids?

...OF THE DAY

PROOF THAT TV VIEWERS ARE SHREWD NEGOTIATORS: Due to sliding ratings, NBC is now offering  $10,000 to people who watch The Apprentice. I think we should hold out for $12,000. (Reality Blurred)

OUT OF TOUCH MOM TERMINOLOGY: British Tabloid calls former pop star George Michael a "stoned waster" (The Mirror)

PROOF WE'RE ONE SIMPSON TOO MANY: Ashlee Simpson's new song L.O.V.E was just released on her website. (AshleeSimpsonMusic)

VOICE-MAIL: Faye Dunaway's angry voice messages left throughout the day on the phone of a producer making a TV movie of her life. While she wants to forget Mommy Dearest, it's clear why she'll never outlive the role. (Wow Report)

What Are The Worst Albums Ever?

Q Magazine published it's list of the 50 worst albums ever made.  I can't believe Naomi Campbell's techno-diva album Babywoman and Bruce Willis's bluesy The Return of Bruno made the list. Those are classics of the humiliating celebrity side project genre.

But the number #1 worst album ever made according to the magazine? Duran Duran's Thank You, an album in which the 80's rockers cover songs by legends like Bob Dylan, Lou Reed and Grandmaster Flash. I guess it was just their little way of saying thank you for not having to write new music.

View the entire list of the 50 worst albums ever after the jump. Then tell us which albums you think should have made the list...

1. Duran Duran – Thank You
2. Spice Girls – All Their Solo Albums!
3. Various – Urban Renewal: The Songs Of Phil Collins
4. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music
5. Billy Idol – Cyberpunk
6. Naomi Campbell – Babywoman
7. Kevin Rowland – My Beauty
8. Mick Jagger – Primitive Cool
9. Westlife – Allow Us To Be Frank
10. Tim Machine – Tin Machine Ii
11. Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
12. Tom Jones – Mr Jones
13. Bruce Willis – The Return Of Bruno
14. Terence Trent Diabolical – Neither Fish Nor Flesh
15. Various – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band – OST
16. Spice Girls – Forever
17. Bob Dylan & The Grateful Dead – Dylan And The Dead
18. Crazy Frog – Crazy Hits
19. Goldie – Saturnz Return
20. Mariah Cary – Glitter OST
21. The Clash – Cut The Crap
22. Robson & Jerome – Robson & Jerome
23. Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
24. Lauryn Hill – MTV Unpugged 2.0
25. The Cranberries – To The Faithful Departed
26. Vanilla Ice – Hard To Swallow
27. Destiny’s Child – Destiny Fulfilled
28. The Rolling Stones – Dirty Work
29. Various – Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album
30. Michael Jackson – Invincible
31. Stevie Wonder – Woman In Red
32. Ace Of Bass – The Sign
33. Billy Ray Cyrus – Some Gave All
34. Fishspooner - #1
35. Puff Daddy – Forever
36. Kula Shaker – Peanuts, Pigs & Astronauts
37. Shania Twain – Come On Over
38. Chris Rea – The Road To Hell Pt2
39. Big Country – Undercover
40. The Others – The Others
41. Paul Simon – Songs From The Capeman OST
42. Babylon Zoo – The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes
43. The Travelling Wilburys – Vol 3
44. Kiss – Music From The Elder
45. William Shatner – The Transformed Man
46. Oasis – Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants
47. Ozzy Osbourne – Under Cover
48. Milli Vanilli – All Or Nothing
49. Neil Young And The Shocking Pinks – Everybody’s Rocking
50. Beck – Midnight Vultures

list via Barbie Martini

GAMES: Keep Katie Quiet

Since it's impossible to avoid Tom & Katie today, I'm just going to accept it and post this ridiculous game to keep myself occupied. It's called Keep Katie Quiet, and here's the description:

Catch Tom's Crazy pills to keep Katie Quiet during Pregnancy or Xenu will come and take her away! Will Katie be completely Silent during birth in accordance with Scientology''s completely rational beliefs? Its up to you to protect her from the evil alien overlord Xenu.

Good luck! Thanks to PopSugar for helping me waste the day away. Click here to play.

...OF THE DAY

REVERSE-WHITE STRIPES MOVE: Franz Ferdinand. They turned down an offer to sell a song to a "mystery American company" for a $50 million ad campaign.  (AdFreak)

PLAYGROUND SLIDE: This elephant slide (pictured) exposes little children for the elephant pooh they really are (A Welsh View)

MISINTERPRETATION: Tom Cruise eating his baby's placenta. I know, I know it was a joke. How could we have misinterpreted someone with such a great sense of humor except when it comes to adult sized pacifiers, South Park and getting squirted in the face with water. (MediaGab)

REASON TO KEEP KIDS OFF MYSPACE: Charlie Sheen is online dating (TMZ)

PORN STAR NAME THAT NETWORK EXECUTIVES MISTOOK AS WHOLESOME: Pepper Dennis (WB)

CAPTION THIS: Tom's Blackberry

If you caught Tom Cruise's interview with Diane Sawyer on Primetime Live Friday night, you probably thought the text message he received from Katie via Blackberry said "No baby action yet". But that's just what Tom saw. We think when Diane looked at the Blackberry, Katie made a last ditch cry for help. Unfortunately, it was too late.

What do you think Diane saw on Tom's Blackberry? Write your captions in the comments section.