"Ugly Naked Guy" Had To Come From Somewhere...

Over at the Jane blog, Lindsay Robertson has some good comments on today's California Supreme Court ruling against the woman who sued the writing staff of Friends for sexual harassment. 

If you're not familiar with the case, a female writers' assistant, years after being terminated from the show, decided that many of the comments and ideas she was exposed to in the "writers room" constituted sexual harrassment, then filed a lawsuit that raised many greater questions about the appropriate nature of a creative environment. 

Luckily, by ruling against this opportunistic person, the court upheld the sanctity of the writers' room, and I can continue making inappropriate and salacious sexual remarks to Piper all day, per usual. 

Get Blackballed

Tonight marks the movie event of the summer. Nay. The movie event of your lifetime. Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story starring Rob Corddry, Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle, Rob Huebel and Ed Helms gets its theatrical release in New York tonight. Blackballed has already won a whole bunch of awards like the Audience Award at the SXSW Film Festival and the Grand Jury Prize at the IFF in Boston, so you know it's going to be awesome.

Head over to BobbyDukes.com to learn more about the Legend, check out the trailer, and find out when and where the film is playing near you. And if you're in New York, click here to get tickets now! Tonight's show is already sold out, but luckily it's playing throughout the month, so get on it ASAP.

Click below to get the full Bobby Dukes story, taken from Paul's Blog.

Starring The Daily Show's Rob Corddry as the title character, Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story, is the tale of paintball's first superstar. While leading his team to their unprecedented fourth consecutive victory at the Hudson Valley Paintball Classic, Bobby Dukes was shot. Desperate to stay in the game, Bobby intentionally wiped the paint from his jersey, thus committing paintball's most heinous crime -- "Wiping." Rejected by the paintball community, Bobby was banished from the sport. In disgrace, Bobby disappeared.

Ten years later, the ban lifted, a well-traveled and more mature Bobby is back to prove himself on the field that made him famous. Bobby joins forces with an unlikely ally, assembles a band of misfits and attempts to erase the memory of his tainted past.

The cast is rounded out by familiar faces hailing from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, including: Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle, Curtis Gwinn, Rob Huebel, Dannah Feinglass, Seth Morris, Jamie Denbo, Jack McBrayer, Owen Burke, Billy Merritt, Ed Helms, Andrew Secunda, Sean Conroy, Brett Gelman, Jon Daly, Vadim Newquist, Josh Perilo, Wendy Spero, John Gemberling and John Ross Bowie.

Will The Real Jon Stewart Please Stand Up?

A charter school in Utah has something to be embarrassed about. Well, something else to be embarrassed about (besides being located in Utah.) The DaVinci Academy thought they made a deal with Daily Show host Jon Stewart to make an appearance at the school's annual benefit dinner next week. They sent out 500 invitations to businesses and planned for 900 people to attend. Everything was going to be great. But one problem. They booked the wrong Jon Stewart.

Instead of booking Death To Smoochy's Jon Stewart, they booked former motivational speaker slash professional wrestler Jon Alan Stewart. Whoops. When they learned of the mistake they canceled Jon A., and  sent out a notice offering refunds to those who purchased a ticket thinking they were going to meet one of the stars of The Faculty. Jon A., meanwhile, is believed to be so devasted he can barely bring himself to elbow drop grown men in speedos from the top rope anymore.

You can read the news story here. Or you can just click below to see the best of both worlds.

Making Fun of Those (More) Fortunate

Sometimes Alex and I get tired of making fun of talented celebrities, reality TV stars and Paris Hilton. When that happens, we have to direct our rage to more traditional targets like the stupid, the ugly, or Molly from the Travel Issue of New York magazine.

I mean, look at her. She's just asking for it.

So head over to Gawker and check out their latest Looking At The Look Book column. You'll see that we treat the average British writer/artist/musician with the same tender love and understanding that we do Lindsay Lohan or Colin Farrell. Okay, maybe not Colin Farrell. But he's an a**hole.

Let's Talk About Sex, Babies

March was my favorite month of the year. Why? Because it was Talk To Your Kids About Sex month. Now, even though talking to kids about sex is the reason I'm no longer allowed to visit 8 of our nation's 50 states, I happen to think it's an incredibly important thing. ESPECIALLY when you relate it to television characters who've lost their virginity on the boob tube over the years. Lucky for me EW is all over it.

Here's a photo gallery of some of our favorite TV characters along with the tales of how they lost it. And by 'it' I mean their virginity. Click below to find out what I learned about TV character sex last month, and what I'll be passing on to the youth of America next year (if I'm allowed near them, that is.)

[thanks to our pal Worker #3116 for the link]

1. Donna Martin and David Silver-- Donna held out for seven years, resisting the urge to succomb to her 90210 pals' peer pressure or to Brian Austin Green's wonderfully proportional soul patch. She finally caved in, and much to the dismay of Creator Aaron Spelling and straight guys everywhere who dreaded the thought of picturing her naked, handed her viginity to B.A.G. Which it's believed he then went to rap about on his album One Stop Carnival.
Lesson Learned: Brian Austin Green released a rap album. Never forget this.

2. Buffy and Angel-- Buffy took a break from slaying vampires to sleep with one in a Very Special Episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. When they woke up in the morning (after what can only be assumed was the best night of Angel's life afterlife, the one-time sensitive and kind bloodsucker was now an evil soulless monster.
Lesson Learned: Vampires have a lot in common with most of my single male friends.

3. Seth and Summer-- These two bumped uglies for the first time on the Valentines Day episode of the OC's first season. That didn't take long, did it? Well, maybe they should've waited a little while. It sucked. Historically bad. And the worst part: they were sober. There's no excuse.
Lesson Learned: Drink before you have sex. That way you can justify your performance by blaming it on the booze.

4. Pacey and his Hot Teacher -- The first season of Dawson's Creek was the opposite of reality TV and more surreal than a house filled with D-List celebrities on VH1. There were two things I just wasn't willing to accept: 1) Was I really supposed to believe that James VanDerBeek had his pick of Michele Williams and Katie Holmes? And 2) Did they expect me to go along with Joshua Jackson and his god-given ability to nail his superhot teacher? The answer: I was and they did. And I didn't.
Lesson Learned: Move to Capeside. Anything can happen.

5.  Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano -- It took a few episodes, but before the end of the (only) season, Angela finally got what she wanted on My So Called Life: She was alone with Jordan Catalano and they were ready to get it on. But then, something bizarre happened. They didn't. He got upset and she remained a virgin. And that's how it ends.
Lesson Learned: Put out or your show will be cancelled. Deal with it.

BWE Photoshop Contest: Covais In Yo Face

American Idol is on tonight, but who are we kidding? Things just haven't been the same post-KC. No, not Kurt Cobain, I'm talking about the other KC-- Kevin Covais (a.k.a. Chicken Little.)

In an effort to fill the KC void in my life, I've been listening to a lot of In Utero and photoshopping Kevin Covais' face onto anything and everything. It helps ease the pain. That's why we're holding a Kevin Covais In Yo Face Photoshop Contest. Click below, you'll get a series of Covais faces. Put them anywhere. Everywhere. And email your submissions to [email protected]. We'll post our favorites on Friday.

So go ahead. Where are you going to put your not-quite American Idol?

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Christian Does Carson

Christian Finnegan celebrated his birthday the way many a 14-year-old girl would have loved to have spent theirs in 1998-- with Carson Daly. Lucky bastard. Watch Christian's hilarious stand-up performance here, then go wish him a Happy Birthday. Just make sure you're not wearing a Red Sox hat when you do. That'll make sense after you watch the clip.

Happy Birthday Christian!

GAMES: Victory Is Ours

The concept is simple-- click on a character to shoot them with a ray gun. Try to do it as many times as you can before the time runs out. We've played this game a million times before.

But THIS time you're playing as Stewie. AND you're shooting members of the Griffin clan. So THAT'S what makes it worth your while. To a degree.

Waste a couple of minutes of time at work by playing the Family Guy "Victory is Ours" game. There are less productive things you could be doing with your time. You know... like reading blogs.

PLAY the game here.

The Future of Reality TV

Just when you thought every simple idea for a television show has already been taken-- thanks, FOX-- a bunch of drunk college kids have stepped up and taken it to the next level.

This is Scare Me, a show based on the simple premise that scaring people is funny. You know what-- it actually is.

Watch it now. It's like Punk'd meets Jackass meets your drunk idiot friends in college who don't care about what other people think of them. Seriously, if this doesn't secure these kids a network deal soon I'll be shocked. Or scared. One of the two.

Paul Scheer's Rockstar Guide to SXSW

Ever wonder what kind of gift bag a rock star like Ted Leo, Rhett Miller, or Paul Scheer gets at South By Southwest? Well, wonder no more. Watch this video and learn what you need to live like a rock star during the festival.