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Whitney Houston Is the New Rick James

Wbag2Whitney Houston has been all over the tabloids these past few weeks, with seperate reports of both her raging crack habit and penchant for sex-toy-enhanced lesbian loving. But who can believe the gossip rags these days? Luckily, CRACKED has gotten their hands on the official press release, a missive from Whitney herself. And you know what? From now on, she's only getting high on life and free cocaine.

April 11, 2006 in Celebrity | Permalink

Comments

It's a real shame that family would do something like this. Everyone wants to come to her rescue, but why now, we all have known she was in trouble for years. As for Bobby, I am so disappointed in him for not sticking up for Whitney as of today. Tina that was a real crut-ball move, I guess she didn't have enough money to continue to support all yall free loaders. Praying for you Whitney, call on teh Father he will make all things new.

Posted by: Tani | Apr 11, 2006 2:13:44 PM

Lookit, that bitch has been lying to herself and her fans for a long time and it's about time for someone to expose her. Is it alright for every damn body to keep coddling her? HELL TO THE NAW! The lower she falls, the higher the rise. Whitney if this gets to you...YOU BETTA WAKE UP BITCH! The media and the fans are not playing with ya dumb ass any longer! We shoulda caught on when she was dating Strawberry...but no..."She's America's sweetheart!" Damn all that, I'm sick of her shit!

Posted by: Dee Dee | Apr 11, 2006 2:24:42 PM

I feel so sorry for her! She needs to leave that loser Bobby and get some serious help. What happened? Whitney was so beautiful and so talented, now she looks like a strung-out-two-bit-whore! Give that girl some M.A.C and a hairbrush. Better yet, give her a garden hose & hose her down! She looks filthy!

Posted by: Sheng | Apr 11, 2006 2:58:51 PM

you can't believe everything that you hear, but if it is true all we can do is pray for her, no one is perfect just put it in the hands of the lord. cursing whitney out is not going to help her nor hurt her, if this mess is true, just pray for her, she is not the only one that go through things in life we also go through something, it may not be drugs. she still have a lot of fans, because i am one.

Posted by: cookie | Apr 11, 2006 3:26:34 PM

Well then maybe a good hard slap and some extensive alone time at a "special facility"

Posted by: Dee Dee | Apr 11, 2006 5:54:13 PM

Life is all about choices. She has not made the best ones. One thing for sure. You reap what you sow. Keep her and her family in your prayers and remember GOD is still on the throne> Also to all the haters this could have happened to anyone. Oh not you right? Right because do didn't have her money or beauty right. I thought so!

Posted by: Rhonda | Apr 11, 2006 9:14:52 PM

how can we say about this kind of situation with her!!! I think Whitney now only Jesus and the strong that you have inside of you will help...forget bobby please...he is not men to you darlin and every body knows that ...I will be praying for you here in brazil with all like your fans ...You can´t died...you are the most important singer in the world...you really can´t died now because your daughter needs you...and I think you need her too...
PLEASE LISTEN YOUR HEART I´M ABSOLUTALY SURE YOU WOLD LIKE TO BACK AND YOU CAN DO THAT YOU KNOW....WE (YOUR FANS )LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH AND WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU AGAIN...
WE LOVE YOU

Posted by: alan thomas carey | Apr 11, 2006 11:17:56 PM

Whitney will recover - she is not the first and will not be the last. Only the Lord knows when its time. Whitney please get help. Been there, done that.

Posted by: WIJ | Apr 12, 2006 6:34:22 AM

They should've done something way back when she got stopped for carrying pot. Since she's a celebrity she got away easy. For norm folks we would be in jail. Look at her now. She's all messed up and cracked out. Honestly I don't blame her sister in law. It's the right thing to do. So Whitney can realize that the whole world is watching. For the record. She wouldn't be like this if she wasn't married to Bobby Brown. He's drug addict too. If you look back at their photos when they were healthy and compare their faces now. Man, they looked like crackheads. I hope they do something soon to her. because crack is whack. Ain't no other way to deal with this is to get your self clean. Not just her. All of her family involved with drugs. That's the only way! Her voice is shot already. Did you hear her live on the olympics? Man she sounded terrible and high too. Clean, Rest, take care of her voice. Thats the only way to make a glamorous comeback. It's really up to her. We just gotta sit and watch if she pulls it off. WHITNEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCH!...IT'S TIME TO SING AGAIN!

Posted by: seven | Apr 12, 2006 1:29:13 PM

I pray that Whitney get some help, It would be such a shame for a talent and a gift from
God to be wasted.

Posted by: Lisa | Apr 12, 2006 4:02:27 PM

Personally, I think that Whitney is a TALENTED individual. I am TRULY disappointed by these recent statements made, because family should be there to HELP not hurt her... and poor Bobbie Christina. God Bless them ALL!

Posted by: La'Wanda A Johnson | Apr 13, 2006 4:12:19 PM

hey. i feel really sorry for whitney but when i think twice about her then i dnt care about her cos she chose to get her self into this mess and now we want her to get out of it. i mean come on whitney you were a bible basher when you started singing. you were gorgeous, talented u had such a powerful voice and now it seems like u dnt care about anything.even your brother has got your child because people are saying your still on drugs. if your not and you really love your child then let someone interview you and plz tell them the truth and get on with your life. bring a new single out and let us hear your voice before it breaks with all the drugs that you are using and if bobby isnt happy with this then explain to him or shout at him and tell him wat you want other wise you will have to leave him. please do something whitney. free yourself. lv u loads x x x x

Posted by: christian | Apr 13, 2006 6:41:02 PM

I wish you all the best Whitney and I am praying that you will beat this with gods help. It is not over until god said it is, but please think about your daugther dont be selfish and loose your life to the devil.
God bless you with a beautiful voice use it to defeat the enemy.

God bless you

Posted by: CHARLEY | Apr 17, 2006 8:22:56 PM

I feel really sorry for Whitney and her family. Its a shame how people love to see a person hit rock bottom. I do not know what happen to poor Whitney. But I still have love for her, and I am praying for her and her family.the devil have really grabbed a hold of her, and I really feel sorry for her daughter. I can imagine the humiliation this mess has bestowed up on her. I feel it was really screwed up the way her sister inlaw exposed her privacy just for the money. I beleive she is just agold digging be-otch, and TINA, YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

Posted by: alnita davis | Apr 18, 2006 1:29:58 AM

Those who judge, perpare to be judged.This is the first time i've ever commented on any blog, but when I read this story my heart whent out to her, My heart litteraly breaks for her, and I want to let her know if she need a perfect friend call on God, if she needs a not so perfect one she can call on me. WE ALL FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD, people!!!!

Posted by: terrance | Apr 18, 2006 8:10:47 PM

I plead the blood of Jesus over this family, Whitney, her daughter, parents and husband.We as christains should not condemn, Jesus dosen't!! Be thankful this girl has the desire to get up and try again. To you whitney, God dosen't keep count on how many times we fall down, just a count on the times we get up! "Saints are just sinners who fall down, and then get up!!!

Posted by: Tonya | Apr 21, 2006 11:49:30 PM

whitney just remember the song Shoop, "Exhale" listen to those words you voiced out. that is sad you let this terribe drug conquer you but the real truth is you let your self conquer it. I saw your Christmas show with Bobby and the family. all need to stick together help each other. Whitney you showed personality issues that drug changed you. Get better pull your self together were counting on your survival cd! The talent you had during your greatest can be the best you can do for yourself but you must be clean! Richard Pryor could have bought an island if he just stayed away from the terrible crime. Your daughter will be affected by this to. Remember we need that cd, if mariah carey can do it you certainly always had it naturally because you had the voice and we felt your songs in our hearts. deeply. you were the diva! Bring it on. again!

Posted by: belinda | Apr 22, 2006 8:07:50 PM

Whitney, I hope you read this blog. Please turn to God at this time. He is the only one who can save you now. Even past rock stars have said that turning their lives over to Jesus Christ got them off herione. I'm sure it's true for all serious drugs. We are all praying for you. I recently heard "I Want to Run to You" on the radio and it brought me to tears. I love you and want you to get better even if you never do another performance or sing again. Please go back to your religious roots. I know you grew up in the church. I LOVE YOU.

Theresa
Missouri

Posted by: Theresa | Apr 23, 2006 6:18:22 PM

am polsh fun of whitney and i couldnt belive it whitney why! Drugs are only for just moment ant take oll your time and you are the best donti can not imagine life whithiut such star like you!look after your child talk to your father! go to church@!!!!!!!
pleaseeeeeeeeee get yourself together be strong and positive stop taking this rubissh please i love you whitney ant i belive in you!
!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Gosia | Apr 25, 2006 4:36:26 AM

All the people who are bashing Whitney (especially her "sisters and brothers"), should be ashamed of yourselves. As usual, we as a people are always there and ready to put each other down instead of trying to encourage positve change. Whitney is suffering and going through a lot of pain right now and the only way for her to come back from this hell, is through much love and support!! Instead of us kicking the woman while she is down, we should all be sending our words of encouragement, support and love so this woman with such a huge gift knows that she is worthy and that she has something to live for. Please my brothers and sisters, don't continue to humiliate, ridicule and kick this woman while she is down. I think she is doing enough of that herself. Please pray for her, prayer does wonders!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: DeeDee | Apr 25, 2006 10:57:05 AM

DEAR MISS HOUSTON. IAAM AWARE OF THE ISSUES YOU ARE FACING AND I SIMPLY WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MY PREYS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU... PLEASE TURN TO GOD FOR HELP AND THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN.....

Posted by: reddogg | May 2, 2006 6:25:04 PM

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