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Rogan Some poor 20 year-old college student learned a very important lesson today when he made the mistake of sending comedian/reality star Joe Rogan the following MySpace message: 

"Joe Rogan, I hate you...you're not funny..."

This message, the type one imagines most every public figure receives countless times daily, apparently caused something to snap inside Rogan, as the Fear Factor host launched into an increasingly brutal series of  back-and forth "You're lame! No, you're lame!" MySpace messages. 

A few things I learned: 1) Joe Rogan is richer and more successful than the college student.  2) Joe Rogan was a kickboxing champion.  3) Never - EVER - send a nasty MySpace message to Joe Rogan.

Read the entire unedited textual maiming after the jump.

----------------- Original Message ----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 1, 2006 4:17 PM

Joe Rogan, I hate you... you're not funny...

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 1, 2006 8:07 PM

I love the fact that you need attention so bad that you had to email me that. That makes me feel happy :) Enjoy your depression. -----

------------ Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 7:59 AM

You really are an idiot... that 15 seconds now these 15 seconds now equal one-half of a minute that I spent letting you know that you are not funny... I sent you the message b/c you shamelessly plugged some gay event, 20 times, that i'm not goign to look at... How many medications are YOU on and then you tell me who is the depressed attention-whore... Enjoy balding,

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:30 AM

First off, my employees send those out, and if you don't want them, get off my list. Second off, you responding to any of those event requests, and doing it the way you did it, just shows me what a cunt of a man you are. You don't like me? That's great, because you're obviously a douche bag, and the opinions of douche bags mean nothing. I love it when losers like you don't like me. I like it even more when they express it. It makes me feel really good about my life when an insecure fat fuck like yourself takes the time out to email me, because that just shows me the way your shitty little mind works, and insures me that you're always going to be what you are now... a failure. There's always gotta be people like you around, because they make people like me stand out :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:45 AM

hahah, did i strike a nerve or something... you seem a bit testy by the way, my apologies... I should have shown Joe Rogan MUUUUCH more respect. Actor? Comedian? Shakespearian extrodinaire... People like you are the reason that everybody thinks they can make it in Hollywood and because people like you, anybody can make it into Hollywood... Look at William Hung. You did kill the Man Show Insecure? I guess we have something in common because you keep coming back at me... Your career is about over anyway, do you plan to work at the family hardware store after that? i'll be back after your next message to me... I have a bag of snacky-cakes to eat. I'm behind on my daily quoto. I'm never going to be as fat as your ego if i have to stop eating and type. ,.. Kevin

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:49 AM

I only wish this conversation was in real life, so I could see the nervousness in your fat little face. I enjoy these little email conversations that I have with haters :) You emailed me and insulted me because you have a mediocre mind, and that's the extent of your capabilities. You trying to insinuate that I'm a loser is even more hysterical, because I've accomplished more in my life than you ever will if you could live a thousand of your shitty lives.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:53 AM

hahahh, Oh really? What is it that you have accomplished, Joe Rogan?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:55 AM

Google search me, you fucking failure :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:58 AM

you're avoiding the question... what have you accomplished

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan Date:

Mar 2, 2006 8:59 AM

That's my answer, find out yourself.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:01 AM

hahah, Joe Rogan... This is the funniest form I have ever seen you in. You're only accomplishment, in my memory, is taking a highly successful show (The Man Show) and running it into the ground merely by your presence alone. I also don't think playing second-fiddle to Brooke Shields is much of an accomplishment.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:09 AM

I was never on a show with Brooke Shields. I was however on 2 shows that made it to syndication, fear factor and newsradio, which means I never have to worry about money for the rest of my life. Think about that when you're getting told what to do by your boss and struggling to pay your bills. I agree that the man show sucked, but unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it at the time. I did however, make a fuck load of money from it, and had the time of my life. You're an ugly, fat faced zero, and I'm a famous multi millionaire. Those are the facts there, dear sweet kevin :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:27 AM

If we are arguing who has more money... YOU WIN!!! I'm sure your "Well i have more money than you" comeback comes in very resourceful on a daily basis when people constantly tell you how not-funny you are. But i'm 20 years old... where were you at age 20 junior college? About the fat thing... I didn't realize I was fat, maybe becaue i'm so insecure, I'll go purge a few pounds and tell some tabloid that Joe Rogan made me do it. . . Skinny Hollywood, actually... What is more pathetic tho... Hollywood actor making poor attempts to insult 20 year old college student and brag about who has more money because the college student didn't think he was funny. And dont' call me 'Dear sweet Kevin." I don't what type of 'man show' you are wanting to make, but i want no part in it.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan Date:

Mar 2, 2006 9:35 AM

"What is more pathetic tho... Hollywood actor making poor attempts to insult 20 year old college student and brag about who has more money because the college student didn't think he was funny." Did you forget how this all got started, fatty? You insulted me, and I let you know that your opinion means shit. This wasn't some unprovoked attack by a bully, it was me defending myself to a hateful little loser.To answer your question, when I was 20, I was US open tae kwon do champion, and I was teaching it at Boston University, going to U Mass and thinking about doing stand up. I WASN'T insulting celebrities and then using my age as an excuse for why I've never accomplished anything. What the fuck have you ever done, Kevin? Come on, fat boy. Please do tell.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:52 AM

obviously you didn't graduate college or else you would be able to understand what I am saying. So let me break it down for you carefully... I am a 20 year old college student... that's why I have no money. That's not my excuse YOU ARE PETHETIC BECAUSE... You continue to go back and forth with as you put it "a zero." Shoudn't you be coming up with "funny" facial expressions for candid photos? It's also not like I'm going out of my way to let you know about my "shitless" oppinions. I've never been in a movie, a sitcom, or even a shitty reality show, so to you I have accomplished nothing. But given less than a year, I know I could easily come up with a better stand-up routine than you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:59 AM

Exactly what I thought, you have done NOTHING. I told you what I had accomplished by the time I was your age, and you have nothing but excuses and empty boasts. You could come up with a better stand up routine than me? That's hilarious. That's better than anything you could ever possibly say trying intentionally to be funny. "I'll show you! I could so do it if I wanted to!" Blah, fucking blah. You're falling apart here, Kevin, and it's taking you longer and longer to craft these responses. I've seen it happen a million times. There's nothing unique about you. You're a loser, pal. Always have been, always will be. If you're lucky you'll find some sad chick that's willing to let you shoot a live round inside of her, and then you'll have a little Kevin that you struggle to feed and raise. That's about the best you're ever going to do. And even then, you'll have to live with the fact that a guy like me could ALWAYS steal her away from you with minimal effort. I go "back and forth" with you because it's fun for me, and because I enjoy letting retarded douche bags like you know where they really stand in life.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Kevin

Date: Mar 2, 2006 10:14 AM

I'll admit... I'm slowing down. For some reason, even after all of this, I almost feel like telling you that you're not as bad of a person as you are a comedian/actor/TV host ... And you know ... That may even be true ... but dude ... You really do suck at all of the above. You've seen it happen a Million times?... You are probably use to a lot of people torching you on a regular basis, but I didn't think the dumb people would. I thought those &..39;tards were your fans. It doesn't take much to understand your humor. Maybe one day i'll find that girl to slip my seed in... Until then, Kevin Jr. is a long time away. To be honest with you, i vented my Joe Rogan frustrations on the very first simple message that i sent you. Since then, its just been funny to watch you get so worked up. After all is said, I am still a loser and have never accomplished anything in my life... but humbled by it... YOU... have been practicing the art of the loser for quite some time but for some reason think you are God's gift to kathy griffen and Brooke Sheilds... YOU... are also the laughing-stock of Hollywood and amongst your little sub-culture, everybody thinks you are lame. maybe that is why you enjoy lashing out against people so much.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Joe Rogan

Date: Mar 2, 2006 10:28 AM

I enjoy lashing out at people? Are you projecting, fatso? YOU started this whole thing, and now you're backed into a corner. I enjoy responding to assholes, and that's why we're having this conversation. You think I suck at all the things I do? That's fine with me, because as I've said before, the opinions of a fucking loser like you with no success to speak of means nothing. I'm the laughing stock of hollywood amongst my peers? And you know this how? Because in your little shit bag town of Athens, Ohio all my peers come over to your stinky little apartment and tell you how much they laugh at me? You got NOTHING, fat boy. Nothing to say, and nowhere to go. The only reason I'm still going with this at this point is because I think this is going to make an interesting blog entry :)

March 2, 2006 in Celebrity | Permalink


That was the most frickin hilarious thing I have read in a long long time. Awesome!

Posted by: Small Fry | Mar 2, 2006 8:00:14 PM

I'm dying to know what happens next. This is better than a bust up on The Real World.

Posted by: Carly | Mar 2, 2006 8:31:08 PM

LMFAO! Joe rogan you're fucking badass...i cant wait to see you commentate this saturday on ufc USA VS CAN. Give me a shout out will you!!?? my name is albert. ahah i have a fro. lol. laters Joe.

Posted by: Albizzle | Mar 2, 2006 9:11:03 PM

The funniest part is that this all happened in a matter of hours.

Boys, boys, settle down. You're *both* pathetic.

Posted by: chunkyrice13 | Mar 2, 2006 10:34:47 PM

You know, this has to be the most pathetic display of insipid behavior I have ever seen from someone who should be a mature adult...

and I'm not talking about Kevin.

Joe Rogan? You ARE a moron. You are NOT funny. You aren't remotely interesting. While you may be cute in a Joey Trebbiani sort of way, you are definately no Matt LeBlanc.

Make no mistake of it.

You had the chance to really shine and you blew it by letting a 20 year old kid crawl under your skin. Unreal. You were a Tae Kwan Do champ by the age of 20? Wow. That's incredible. *sarcasm* Did your thick knuckles make up for your thin skin?

By the way, when referring to someone over and over as "fatty", "fat boy", etc., one might want to make sure he isn't going through a bout of male pattern balding first.

Give me a fat man with the courage to stick to his convictions over a balding egomaniac any day of the week.

Oh, and Joe?

Money, no matter how much of it you have, still does not make you funny or talented.

Kevin got you on that one. :)

You have a great day of syndicated nothingness.


Posted by: CP | Mar 3, 2006 12:19:20 AM

Joe Rogan, if this is your method of handling someone's plain dislike and negative opinion of you you are the poorest of the poor, oh wealthy man

Posted by: aziz | Mar 3, 2006 12:26:23 AM

wow... the above exchange was almost as painful as an episode of Fear Factor. But in all fairness; News Radio was fucking awesome.

Posted by: Ari | Mar 3, 2006 1:05:44 AM

Joe,U do stink dont know u made it thus far and guess what stinky? U can't take all your money w/you when u die jackass! Why not spend some money on somone who really needs it!Like the homeless!Then brag about that!At least it will have some meaning.

Posted by: Shawn | Mar 3, 2006 2:16:24 AM

I used to like Joe, not because of his comedic abilities, but this

Now I see he's just a pumped up ass on steroids and ego.

Posted by: larvate libertine | Mar 3, 2006 3:28:07 AM

I don't know who either of these people are but, just from reading the back-and-forth, I have to say I agree with Joe all the way.
This Kevin has proved himself to be a dull, mindless, envious little cunt.
Never mind. I suppose he'll grow up one day.

Posted by: Deepthroatb | Mar 3, 2006 5:31:16 AM

I am sorry these people are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down.You are right about your accomplishments and have every right to be proud.
Calling him fat was a tad silly, but you're right.....just because you're well-known and "older" than him doesn't mean you don't have the right to defend yourself.
And yes, I think you ARE funny. If I'd never seen anything you'd ever done, this would prove that. Sorry dear, sweet Kevin.

Posted by: sharyn | Mar 3, 2006 7:50:59 AM

I am sorry these people are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down.You are right about your accomplishments and have every right to be proud.
Calling him fat was a tad silly, but you're right.....just because you're well-known and "older" than him doesn't mean you don't have the right to defend yourself.
And yes, I think you ARE funny. If I'd never seen anything you'd ever done, this would prove that. Sorry dear, sweet Kevin.

Posted by: sharyn | Mar 3, 2006 7:52:58 AM

Is there anybody on the planet that doesn't hat Joe Rogan? He's the kind of guy who will say things like this:

"If you're lucky you'll find some sad chick that's willing to let you shoot a live round inside of her"

and think it's clever. He turned The Man Show from toungue in cheek to just plain mysogynistic. If anybody watches the American version of "The Office", I think Joe Rogan = Todd Packer. He probably greets his friends with "Hey Belush, (that's Jim Belushi) still queer?" To which the Belush replies "Only for your mom" or something like that. Then they commence talking about all the "broads" they "banged" while they (the "broads") were under the influence of "rohypnol." That's Joe Rogan's persona in a nutshell.

Posted by: josh | Mar 3, 2006 8:49:46 AM

wow. mature.

Posted by: joelle | Mar 3, 2006 9:20:59 AM

This was quite entertaining.
But admitting I laughed makes me as bad as these two *cough* men. I guess the feeling of stepping back into Junior High got the best of me.
Have fun and live free!

Posted by: shel | Mar 3, 2006 9:28:02 AM

Dearest Joe-

I believe it is you that is the douche bag and very possibly a pathological liar. Teaching in a college at 20 y.o.? Pa-leeze. I don't believe it for a second. I know guys like you who have to lie to make what mediocre achievements they have seem so much bigger and more impressive.

So you were a tae kwon do champ. Big fucking deal. That just means you lived a privileged existence where mommy and daddy paid for everything. People who actually need to work to succeed don't have those kind of opportunities. I doubt you have accomplished anything on your own and that is why you are so defensive when someone calls you out on your lameness. Were you an actual, mature individual, you would let petty annoyances from people you have never met simply roll off your back. Instead, you had to jump down this guy's throat and not let up until you had emotionally beat him down by repeatedly attacking his appearance. How mature, Joe.

I'm sure all this posturing and the big fast car (that I'm sure you drive) is an attempt to make up for a serious lack in another department.

Grow up, you asshole. And lay off the 'roids.

Posted by: lulu | Mar 3, 2006 9:57:16 AM

This is too good (but, as Gawker pointed out, can't hold a candle to the infamous Apatow/Brazill "Get cancer" e-mail exchange some years back).

Wasn't sure how I felt about Rogan before (loved Newsradio, Fear Factor sucks balls. Then chews, then swallows, then, hopefully, gets some prize money). But it turns out he's a little bit funny and quite a bit better at writing (not to mention spelling) than his 20 yr old pen pal (and don't give me the age excuse- 'quoto'? 'extrodinaire'? If you don't have those down by 20...).

Oh, and how the fuck does being a Tae Kwon Do champ (after two years of training) make one privileged? Unless the whole martial arts community is corrupt and he bought the championship (wasn't that in one of those 3 Ninjas movies? Or was it the Jonathan Brandis/Chuck Norris flick?)

Posted by: Brock | Mar 3, 2006 11:17:20 AM

Ha, I honestly think that Kevin guy "won".
Joe seams like a whiner. Seriously, you think "fatty" is a good put-down? PPPTTHHPPP!!! :P

Posted by: Amber | Mar 3, 2006 11:19:03 AM

Joe Rogan just blew my mind. And I can't believe I'm not even being sarcastic. Hear him out:


Posted by: NA | Mar 3, 2006 11:28:49 AM

My impression of JR was confirmed by this... Panic-attacked, high-stressed, insecure, paranoid, boorish wad. Unfunny and simple-minded.
Too idiotic to censor his own childish, arrogant, and disgusting reaction to being teased by someone who may actually be doing him a favour in the end. We all know dudes like this, and they usually become beer reps or sell cars. No disrespect to the thousands of terrific people who do these things, but you know the kind of unruly and smelly shithead I'm talking about.
He'll weep furiously in the bath and punch his mirror into shards later, and Kevin will be relaxing with a book.

Posted by: Burgertime | Mar 3, 2006 11:36:32 AM

That has got to be the funniest un-witty banter from a "celeb" ever. I didnt even know that Joe Rogan was on Newsradio. I think people should continue to badger him to let him know that Kevin from Ohio is not the only person who thinks Mr. Rogan should just fade away...just like the guy from Singled Out.
Joe Rogan, I give you a hearty thumbs-down!

Posted by: Sir Willem | Mar 3, 2006 12:18:55 PM

This reminds me of those arguments in third grade: "Nuh-uh. Is too. Is not..." You get the picture. While Myspace flame wars are not generally the best forum for intelligent conversation, I think JR really manages to drop the ball on this one. Insulting someone based on their weight because they do not think you are funny and then brag about wealth to a 20 year old college student. Seriously. JR needs to grow up and get a set of thick skin. To attempt to bolster his case by lying about teaching college only makes his actions more shameful. If making fun of others to attempt to be funny is unsuccessful, he is certainly successful at amusing others by making fun of himself.

Posted by: Nathan | Mar 3, 2006 12:21:40 PM

Rogan = Awesome. And if you've ever seen his standup, you'd know he's a really talented guy. His stand up (while it may not be for everyone) is hilarious.

Posted by: Zing | Mar 3, 2006 12:38:24 PM

I grew up with Joe outside of Boston. He is an asshole. Always has been, always will be. Sadly, insecure bullies often grow up and earn a lot of money. He's not funny and, apparently, hasn't changed at all. Obviously, he has serious issues. I predict an early death.

Seriously, though, Fear Factor was interesting for three episodes. Only idiots watch it still. They only win 50 grand, before taxes. What the hell is 50K going to do? Unfortunately, there are lots of idiots. Rogan makes all of that money off of them.

Posted by: bruce | Mar 3, 2006 12:52:20 PM

Sharyn, you hit the nail on the head. Todd Packer all the way. I'm betting Joe would be all about dropping a load on Kevin's bedroom floor.
BTW, is any other female terrified by that picture? Imagine that coming at you in the middle of the night.

Posted by: Jenn6 | Mar 3, 2006 12:54:23 PM

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