head over to bestweekever.tv!

« The Daily Danza | Main | Oscar Week: Which Nominee Are You? »

SIZZLER: Countdown to Katie's Incarceration


That lovable ladies man and perpetual bachelor Tom Cruise has finally set a date to marry his one true love, Katie Holmes. While most celebrities would try to hide their wedding date from the press, we're sure Tom wants the world to know his wedding is set for July 4th 2006. In fact, he'd like to extend the 'save the date' cards to the paparazzi so they can be sure to make the event . More details about the wedding after the jump...

The date is one day after Tom's 44th birthday and three months after Katie delivers their beautiful love-child. Sources say the wedding will be a four day event patterned after Cruise's almost-Oscar worthy film Born on the Fourth of July. While the day will be a jubilant event filled with kissing, hand-grabbing and proclamations of unadulterated joy, it's important to remember Tom's nuanced portrayal of a wheelchair bound Viet Nam Vet. No plans yet as to where the couple will be spending their honeymoon, but we look forward to the press release. 

February 28, 2006 in Sizzler | Permalink


I thought ya'll said they were breaking up before? i know its been a couple weeks since ive been here but...you didnt change ur tune that quick did ya?? the Tabloids let you down?!!?sorry about that

Posted by: Shaft | Feb 28, 2006 2:28:09 PM

I guess those breakup stories must've really upset Tom. We don't care if or when you marry her, Tom;we will still know the truth. (that he's more madly in love than ever before in his life, of course)

Posted by: hesgay | Feb 28, 2006 2:39:28 PM

Timed to coincide with the release of Mission Impossible 3, no doubt. All life-altering events in Cruise's life coincidently happen around the same time as he's about to release a movie or DVD. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Hopefully his turkey baster spawn knows this and arrives at an appropriate time. Can't upset control freak Tom's carefully planned time table!

Posted by: Kate | Feb 28, 2006 2:58:41 PM

Hm. I wonder when there's a time that Tom Cruise hasn't had a movie or DVD coming out. Or won't be. Or if there was a holiday that he could have picked to have his wedding on that someone couldn't have compared to one of his movies. Y'know why that is? He's a busy guy. When you're busy, you have to plan stuff. That sounds crazy to a nobody with nothing to do, I know. By the way, how much of a weirdo loser do you have to be to create an email address just to ridicule someone else?

Posted by: misogynist | Feb 28, 2006 5:01:31 PM

Not only is he a bad actor, he can hardly be considered creative. He hunts down these young naive virgins, promises them whatever they want (in Nicole's case, it was to be an A actress-ironically, she only achieved it when he threw her out and he did that because she was sick of being his beard and wasting her life in a dead-end deal)-they had separate quarters in their home and wherever they went; it was always so complicated. and do we really think she cares about her kids? NOT.- probably he doesn't either. And in this one's case, it didn't take much to woo her. She's a kid, for God's sake. That ridiculous cult that he's in probably told him that it was time to have a child with a Virgin. God knows. No wonder her parents are worried. I'd be worried too, if it was my daughter. This reminds me of John Travolta and his wife, except they were both cultists so they understood the Plan and the Arrangement and actually like or love each other, even though she's a beard for him too. California is just so weird.

Posted by: Not Fooled for One Bit | Feb 28, 2006 10:30:25 PM

The question that Misogynist SHOULD be asking (instead of blindly defending a whack job like Tom Cruise)is how much of an idiot do you have to be to put your actual e-mail address on a publically viewed message board for all spam mongers to see and use? DUH!

Posted by: Kit | Mar 1, 2006 11:21:06 AM

Well as GOD i thought it would be good to inform you that the date to the end of the TOMKAT is nearing. Word is Tom has been hiding some messages from the aliens from Katie and they...are very pissed off. What a pity to end such a blissful blunder of bullshit across my planet. Thanks to the aliens...

Posted by: GOD | Mar 2, 2006 6:58:18 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.