who's not having the best week ever

1. Paula Abdul - Fox brought in an independent counsel to investigate Paulagate.
2. Paris & Nicole - They're stuck with one another for another season of "Simple Life."
3. Sweaty people - It's not easy being a sweaty person during this insane heat wave.

So who is having the best week ever? You have to tune in tonight at 11 and all weekend long to find out.

Worth1000 Photoshop Contest: Modern Celebs in Old Art

This contest askes a simple question: If the renaissance took place in modern times, and the models were famous pop culture celebrities, what would the artwork have looked like?

I can answer that: Pretty damn cool.

Check out the rest of entries here.

The Real Laguna Beach

From left to right: some girl, some girl, LC, Lo

If you're a fan of the hit MTV show Laguna Beach like I am, then today's your lucky day. Behold, Lo's webshots photo albums.

With pictures with titles like "Oh wow drunk" and "wow were so hot," and an album titled, "me and my biatch" this is required viewing for all you LB fans out there. And LC fans too.

Check out sexybiatch101's photo albums here. This post is Dunzo.

Friday Morning Quick Hits

Nicole Kidman was spotted out with country singer Keith Urban.  Surprisingly NOT at a Waffle House.

Jennifer Lopez is upset at the prospect of Ben Affleck having a child. And for the first time ever, J-Loand I have something in common.

Tommy Lee has confessed he can't wait to put his wild days behind him.  Tommy said: "Over the years, even free sex gets boring.”  But pay sex is still fannnnnnnntastic.

Paris Hilton does not have the approval of her future mother in law.  Maybe she should show her the old Rick Soloman tape to assure her that her son is in good hands. Good, slutty, hands.

Movie star Kate Hudson is obsessed with splashing water over herself and carrying crystals to protect her from her "negative" Hollywood peers.  And suddenly, her marriage to the guy from the Black Crowes makes sense.

i like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch

Abercrombie and Fitch has taken a turn towards the HILARIOUS! Step aside Urban Outfitters, now you have some competition in the "ridiculous novelty t-shirt" department.

These shirts are listed on the a&f website as "celebrity" tees, and boy, are they clever. Let's start with the "Orlando makes me sweat" tee. Now, upon first glance you'd think "Oh, of course Orlando makes you sweat, it's a city in Florida and it gets awfully humid down there." Right? WRONG! This is a play on words baby! If you're wearing this shirt, what you're really saying is Orlando BLOOM makes me sweat because he's so damn hot! Yow! Or, if you're a guy wearing this shirt, you're saying Orlando Bloom makes me sweat because I'm pretty sure he's into dudes and I'm afraid he might do something to me while I'm sleeping. But either way, it works.

Now, the "What is Scientology? No seriously" tee lets people know two things: 1) you're sick of hearing about Tom and Katie, and 2) you're really not a smart person. Perfect! Put me down for 5 of them!

Check out the rest of abercrombie's celebrity tees here... and long for the days when their website was full of naked teenagers hanging from tire swings.

Burger King loves the Coq

Sexual double entendres were removed overnight from Burger King's new website, CoqRoq.com, but the company claims it has received no complaints from consumers or other outside groups, AdAge reports. The deleted content included captions, under photos of young girls, that read: "Groupies love the Coq" and "groupies love Coq."

Burger King just loves the coq.  What? too suggestive? they did it first! Don't shoot the messenger.[link]

Afternoon Quick Hits

Michael Bay says The Island flopped because Ewan McGregor isn't a "big" enough star. McGregor responded in his beautiful singing voice with  "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies...I guess Pearl Harbor sucked...just a little bit more than I missed you....."

Blondie and Dagwood to celebrate 75th anniversary by invading other comic strips, sure only to make them unfunny as well.

"The other night I took an eighty-year-old taxidermied monkey, set it on fire in the pool and filmed it from beneath with an underwater camera...It was beautiful, like the Titanic, the Hindenburg and King Kong all mixed into one." Marylin Manson continues to pretend he's really creepy.

African official offers Bill Clinton 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea's hand in marriage. Bill says he needs to up the offer by at least 30 chickens.

Billy Corgan storms off the stage like a little girl. The Smashing Pumpkins need to reunite even if it's just to restore Corgan's dignity.

Samuel L. Jackson hopes to cure Christina Ricci of nymphomania in her latest film role. He'll be the first guy since Adams Family 2 who's NOT trying to sleep with her.

Thursday Morning Quick Hits

Paris Hilton is complaining that her finger hurts because her 24-carat engagement ring is just too big. Oh yeah? Well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled Paris² mansion landscaping duty you ungrateful whinny fembot. Anybody else's fingers hurt? I didn't think so.(much love to Stiller)

Blind Teen uses the force to win at Mortal Kombat. Jedi Knights and ninjas surrender. Not impressed? Maybe this list of the 50 best portable games of all time will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Burt Reynolds expresses how much he would love to place fluids on Jessica Simpson's rear-end. Can...can I even say that? Please don't fire me.

Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell...Christopher Walken enjoys tricking makeup artists for free cake by pretending it's his birthday and he's all alone. "By lunchtime, a cake is wheeled out with bottles of champagne, and we all have a lot of fun".

Ask Alicia Keys anything and have your questions and her answers appear in the next issue of Blender magazine. I'm hoping my desert island question involving midgets or robots gets answered but chances are it will be a little bit too far off topic to make the cut. Pity. I have a feeling Keys is a fan of the midgets. I guess I'll never know.

Osama tried to poison the US coke supply. Pepsi is unavailable for comment.Oh. Oh. You meant 'coke' the drug not the drink. Got it. I'm so not hip.

Owen Wilson likes to experiment. With women. Lots of women. This isn't for science folks. This one is just for Owen's private studies.

Kelly Osbourne just wants that ex-boyfriend of hers to Shut Up and if that approach fails to work there is always hope for another album to help express her anger or if that fails you could always bite off a bat's head. That will show him.

Best Of Thursday Morning Linkage

Family Guy Clip: Peter on Ecstacy. Everything here is fantastic, folks.

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This man would destroy you at Tetris. There is no way you are better than him. I'm willing to bet he's never seen the light of day or touched a woman but he will destroy you at Tetris and really if you think about it... that's quite an achievement and probably than risking getting cancer or aids anyway.

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Supersize me with Whiskey. - We here at Best Week Ever do not condone drinking Whiskey in a super-sizing manner. In fact, we don't advise you drink whiskey at all... but we do think you should  watch this spoof by the Whitest Kids on Morgan Spurlock's award winning "Supersize Me" documentary.

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Greatest Collection of Want Ads Ever - A few great entries here worth glancing at. (thnx Transbuddah)

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The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies - Another flash moment brought to you by Angry Alien.

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Boss Hogg Blogs - He was southern born to dirty sharecroppers and raised up poor as a skinny pup sucking on a old dry tit.  This is his website. Lets just say he is not exactly Jessica Simpson's biggest fan. Scroll down the blog for more hilarious entries.

Celebrity Haiku: Johnny Depp Edition

Robot Johnny  (a talented freelance illustrator) provides us with another installment of Celebrity Haikus.

Edward Scissorhands
As cool as they are
those things must be a nuisance
when masturbating

Gilbert Grape
The real answer to
“What’s eating Gilbert Grape?” is:
“His giant mother”

Those of you who were unfortunate enough to miss out on the Harrison Ford edition should catch up now. Maybe he takes requests. Just please no TomKat haiku requests...that's all I ask. With that said, ask away.[link]