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the battle of who could care less

There's one thing you learn when you live in New York: When hipsters fight, nobody wins.

When the lead singer of The Killers decided to start trashing The Bravery a couple of weeks back, I immediately thought, "Oh no, this is going to get ugly." Now, I didn't mean ugly in a Biggie-Tupac way, or in a Jon Stewart-Tucker Carlson way. No. I meant the other kind of ugly. The kind of ugly that leaves you utterly embarrassed for everyone involved.


See, it all started when Brandon Flowers (of The Killers) said, "Look at a band like the Bravery. They're signed because we're a band." He then revealed that some members of the Bravery were once in a band called Skabba The Hut. Okay, say it with me:

WORST BAND NAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're trying to appeal to the "too cool for school" hipster crowd, the only thing worse than being connected to a ska band is probably being connected to a ska band named after a Star Wars character! Ouch.

Now, if the guys in the Bravery knew what was best for them, they should have probably left it at that. But did they? Of course not.  Sam Endicott, the lead singer, had this to say about his new enemy Brandon Flowers: "The poor little guy, he's very scared. I mean I feel bad talking bad about him because it's like hitting a girl. It's like picking on a kid in a wheelchair because he has no sense of humor at all."


Alright, not bad. That was a pretty good diss there. But unfortunately he didn't stop talking. "There's the one guy [in The Killers] whose like nine feet tall. He looks like a little Dutch girl with a beard... but like a nine foot tall Dutch girl like a mutant radioactive."


Nice save there, buddy. Is the lead singer of the Bravery Chris Farley? Was his next line, "Shut up Richard." It's like his mind stopped working but his mouth just kept on moving. "He's a little dutch girl but he's a nine foot tall Dutch girl with a beard but he's a little girl and.... mutant radioactive... um... gah, I have no idea what's going on right now."

Now I understand why most people prefer rap music. It's much, much less embarrassing.

Nobody's going to come out of this looking cool. The Killers and The Bravery are both in trouble. We need a new hipster band to emerge with no ska-history that can keep their damn mouths shut. Yes, I'm looking at you, Kaiser Chiefs. Please don't let us down.

April 6, 2005 | Permalink


first post!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: ohioan | Apr 6, 2005 1:30:16 PM

Okay, so I have never heard of the Killers and The Bravery, have either of them had anything noteable out?

Posted by: ohioan | Apr 6, 2005 1:34:07 PM

The Killers' video for "Mr. Brightside" is running 24/7 on VH1, and the Bravery's video for "Honest Mistake" is in heavy rotation as well.

Posted by: J_Girl105 | Apr 6, 2005 1:46:24 PM

The strokes would kick both of their asses

Posted by: dudevalrock | Apr 6, 2005 1:50:53 PM

Fantasy NYC "cool band fight"

Scissor Sister VS Fanny Pack

Posted by: dudevalrock | Apr 6, 2005 1:53:23 PM

I know who'll win this battle: me!

I could care any less for these two bands. I mean, Who are they?? This is obviously VH1's way of trying to give them both some publicity.

Now I won, where's my prize??

Posted by: steal this name | Apr 6, 2005 4:18:08 PM

Arn't The Killers from Las Vegas? Both of them are ridiculous, seriously, I want to see Scissor Sisters vs Fanny Pack

Posted by: melissajune | Apr 6, 2005 4:34:53 PM

alright i'm thinkin' The Killers vs. Franz Ferdinand. Both catchy but virtually talentless (i own both their cds)or maybe like Yellowcard and Taking Back Sunday. Instead of fighting they'd just sit in the corner and cry and cut them selves...

Posted by: highonlife | Apr 6, 2005 6:01:09 PM

The Bravery is heavily overproduced and way too hyped for how much they suck. The Killers will always prevail on top.

Posted by: k. | Apr 6, 2005 8:31:55 PM

BWE courts the NY hipster demo. Nice Bob!

Posted by: stereogum | Apr 6, 2005 8:45:21 PM

i think morningwood could take all of them.

Posted by: masheen | Apr 6, 2005 10:58:17 PM

as for the new hipster band to help us out, i'd put my bet on bloc party

Posted by: irving | Apr 7, 2005 1:28:52 AM

I will have to agree with highonlife, the killers will always prevail. I love the killers and highly dislike the bravery!

Posted by: BrandonFlwrsGrl | Apr 7, 2005 8:33:35 AM

captian neato referred to all the old regulars as dorks and said he/she was glad they're gone and that now 'we' have the board to ourselves.

Ok, captian neato, make with the interesting comments. ... I'm waiting... ... still waiting... and, still waiting... see, ya gotta start talking; then ya gotta say something that at least someone else wants to hear and/or respond to. *That's* the point. Maybe you are just jealous of those, ahem, dorks. (And maybe *that's* a "pot calling the kettle black"-type thing.)

Posted by: Hellrazor | Apr 7, 2005 12:44:20 PM

I've never heard of the people and couldn't care less.

However, I'll make an observation: the whole "I'm in a band and let's pose for a group photo and let's be all edgy and cool and hip and not smile and have weird haircuts and not look at the camera and..." all that crap was played out ad nauseum about 25 years ago. Now it just looks so goddam stupid.

The guys, the poseurs, who pull this crap don't deserve any attention. They are, for are their self-important posturing, completely derivative, and too lacking in creativity to be original. Its just as phony as if somebody tried to recreate Woodstock. Oh, wait -- there *was* a phony Woodstock.

Well, I guess music is like government; you get what you deserve.

p.s. I'd have loved to slap these nerds around in junior high. Probably, I did.

Posted by: Captain Obvious | Apr 7, 2005 12:57:05 PM

You must be insecure to be so hostile. What's your PROBLEM? I don't see you in any bands. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't give you a chance to list your accomplishments or even a mug shot of yourself. Not that I'm interested. Why don't you check out his and other people's work before you do criticize them. Now, if you'll excuse me, its time for me to get on my knees and give the first black guy that comes along with
twenty bucks a blow job -- the first hispanic guy with fifty gets to beat the crap outta me.

Posted by: myopinion | Apr 7, 2005 1:29:23 PM

the killers will beat there ass hand's down. and some of yall ask who are the killers, well i'll tell you who. the killers are the best band eva! they ROCK> and the Bravery are just trying to copy them. Come on they need to do there own thing. THE KILLERS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hot fuss is the best!

Posted by: crystal | Apr 7, 2005 9:06:00 PM

Kaiser Chiefs to save the day! For the record, the Bravery is brilliant, the Killers are brilliant, and Mark is certainly the most gorgeous 9 foot tall dutch girl with a beard I have ever seen.

Posted by: Rachel | Apr 7, 2005 9:54:47 PM

If they were real g's, they'd each write songs dissing the other band.

I wonder if there will be a press conference, with both lead singers in hoodies and baseball caps looking unhappy to be there.

Posted by: stephanie | Apr 7, 2005 9:59:05 PM

real hipsters don't even like these bands. both are washed-out, shallow images sent to present an easily accessible version of "cool" to the masses. saying a band with two #1 singles is hip is like saying lindsay lohan's album sold because her music was good.

Posted by: rah rah radio | Apr 8, 2005 12:28:34 PM

All I know is that I heart the Killers. They remind me of everything that is Vegas.

Never heard of the Bravery, but I'll say they suck for the hell of it.

Posted by: RayRay | Apr 8, 2005 10:20:02 PM

Alright. B-Flow is looking for more media attention because everyone's realized the Killers can't go on releasing the same single again and again and again. The Bravery are fucking wasters who know how to perfectly time a bandwagon jump so all the hipsters think it's the right thing to listen to, even though they're a pathetic rehashing of a pathetic rehashing of 80's music.

Pretty much, both are terrible, should get together, resolve their differences, and go live in an underground bunker somewhere so we won't have to hear from either of them again.

Posted by: misshape | Apr 9, 2005 12:25:34 AM

Aah, the Kaiser Chiefs, everday I love you more and more. The Killers are jealous because they were outdone by labelmates The Bravery.

Posted by: Alex | Apr 9, 2005 12:47:08 AM

Fuck the Killers! They suck! What the hell is "Somebody Told Me"?!?!? Its bullplop! Bravery is way better, at least they listen to Fugazi & not Duran fucking Duran.

Posted by: Apexa | Apr 9, 2005 10:40:32 AM

obviously ben folds (± five) owns them both.

Posted by: Rachel | Apr 10, 2005 4:05:11 AM

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