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Jonathan_davis Korn's Jonathan Davis and his pornstar wife have named their newborn son... wait for it... Pirate. Yep. Pirate. Of course, it makes perfect sense considering the kid was born with one eye and a wooden leg, but still. I guess we finally have an answer to what happens when you mix Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll. You come up with Pirate.

Are celebrities even trying anymore? Or are they just naming their kids the first word that pops into their heads? Let's look at the recent crop of celebrity kids:

  • Pirate -- Jonathan Davis & Deven
  • Apple -- Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
  • Coco -- Courtney Cox & David Arquette
  • Phinnaeus -- Julia Roberts & Some Dude
  • Hazel -- Julia Roberts & Some Dude again
  • Audio Science -- Shannyn Sossamon & Some other Dude
  • Pilot Inspektor -- Jason Lee & his fiance
  • Seven Sirius -- Andre 3000 & Erykah Badu
  • Prince Michael I & Prince Michael II -- Michael Jackson... sorta

It's official, I'm naming my kid Blog. As long as he hangs out with Pirate and Coco he shouldn't get teased too much.

I kind of hope that 20 years from now Gwyneth and Chris' kid marries Jason Lee's kid so she can become Mrs. Apple Inspektor. One can only dream.

March 24, 2005 | Permalink


First again

Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 24, 2005 2:25:44 PM

W00t First!1!!

Posted by: Dave | Mar 24, 2005 2:25:59 PM

Curses! 20 seconds too late!

Posted by: Dave | Mar 24, 2005 2:27:33 PM

I'm gonna name my kid Banana Republic. It just feels right.

Posted by: Spade | Mar 24, 2005 2:28:22 PM

Some of these people need to go whole hog and choose from the following list:

Has Been
Future Cokehead
Spoiled Brat
Heir Apparent
American Idle (or Idle American, or insert country of choice)
Lear Jet Brat
Li'l Bling Bling
Champagne Wishes
Caviar Dreams
Iwanna Oscar (Iwanna Grammy, or insert award of choice)

... I could go on and on, but you get the point...


Posted by: dP2.0 | Mar 24, 2005 2:59:00 PM

...ouch! To paraphrase Adolph Caesar, a blog is a terrible thing to waste... This one looks pretty dead.

Posted by: tigerlilly | Mar 24, 2005 3:00:06 PM

Are celebrities smoking crack when they decide to name their kids?

Posted by: thisblows | Mar 24, 2005 3:19:02 PM

I have no idea who the musician is (not a Korn fan) and, call me old-fashioned but I don't give a crap about any aspect of a porn star's life other than her porn movies. In other words, if she ain't engaging in explicit sex acts, I don't pay attention to her...

Posted by: Col Klink | Mar 24, 2005 4:05:04 PM

Not sure which parallel universe it is where a pornstar is referred to as a celebrity but I never want to go there.

Posted by: Me | Mar 24, 2005 5:53:56 PM

Well, it looks like most of the intelligence has been sucked out of the room, so to speak. I see where my friend Jilad is still around, for now at least, but it looks as if most of the others have pulled a vanishing act. Funny how some people have chimed in and said "good riddance", or words to that effect. I notice you waited until they were good and gone before lipping off to them -- not particularly ballsy, but whatever... I think I'll take a powder as well. This place was fun for me to come by and comment on all of the 'back and forth' that had been said on that day, but for the last couple of days, there's been about three or four posts, and they seem to run the gamut of loving beeners (a tired joke) to the afore-mentioned 'sour grapes' thing. Best of luck, though.

Posted by: Hard Hat | Mar 24, 2005 6:07:07 PM

Nope. I'm gone. Feel free to celebrate behind my back.

Posted by: a_jilad | Mar 24, 2005 7:36:24 PM

How about this for a subject: how about how this blog became so un-entertaining so damn quickly?!?!

Adios, muchachos!!!

Posted by: geezer | Mar 24, 2005 7:43:11 PM

Okay, the kid has a porn star for a mom and the name Pirate. Why don't they just name him Sue to get the most teasing possible of this kid? It doesn't matter that his dad a rocker... his nickname will always be Butt Pirate with the mom on those internet sites.
Anytime a celebrity has a kid, it gets media attention. Even if the kid is name Apple or Mary, it gets press. So why don't celebrities sell the naming rights like a stadium. I hear Kmart needs to get its name out and Robert Blake needs money. Find another vict... partner and have a kid. Kmart if it’s a girl and Blue Light if it’s a boy.

Posted by: dlesmore | Mar 24, 2005 8:33:27 PM

this blog is so boring i cant put it into words...im out

Posted by: lonewolfblogger | Mar 25, 2005 2:22:18 AM

this blog is so boring i cant put it into words...im out

Posted by: lonewolfblogger | Mar 25, 2005 2:26:20 AM

I'm going to name my kid SEX

If that doesn't get him attention, nothing else will

Posted by: bru | Mar 25, 2005 5:18:30 AM

My kid's name is going to be SVEN.


Posted by: Maelie | Mar 25, 2005 7:05:28 AM

When I was in middle school, there were these two black kids, twins, but not identical and their names were
limonjello and oragejello. . Of course they were pronounced lime jello or orange jello. but more like (lemongzelo and oranzhelo).

True story.

Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 25, 2005 9:32:31 AM

Funny line from the oscars:
when Chris Rock was introducing Gweneth paltrow as a presenter, he refered to her as " the only woman to breast feed an apple"

thought that was funny.

Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 25, 2005 9:35:10 AM

happy good friday, dont eat meat today.

Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 25, 2005 9:37:14 AM

Wow.. this used to be kind of happenin' place. Lookin' kinda deserted.

Keep posting. I think it's worth saving and we'll pick up new comers along the way.

The first one I remember doing this kind of wackyness was Frank Zappa. At the time I thought it was kinda funny and cool. 'Course I was probably as stoned as he was at the time.

Also left off the list? Aston's step children.

Posted by: 253 | Mar 25, 2005 11:18:54 AM

I meet a Girl in Driving School whoes name was Dezabare. We called her Dezi. Last name Woods. We got to talking and she told me her middle name was Shatinda.
Dezabare Shitinda Woods. (does a Bear shit in the woods). She said her dad thought it would be funny. Swear it's a true story!

Posted by: Cat | Mar 25, 2005 12:08:39 PM

I will shut down this blog unless it becomes more worthwhile. Lately it has degenerated to the point where it isn't worth my time anymore. Let's give it a few more days to climb back up to the level of interest and fun of a week ago. If not... I'm pulling the plug.

Posted by: Moderator | Mar 25, 2005 12:18:46 PM


Posted by: Adam West | Mar 25, 2005 12:32:01 PM

Yup, mighty boring....


Pull the plug.

Posted by: Mr. Burns | Mar 25, 2005 12:33:08 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.