While You Were Pretending To Be Jewish To Get Off For Passover

• Muhammed Ali has sold the rights to his name and likeness for $50 million. The new owners are already excited about slapping it on a portable grilling machine and calling it a day.
• Speaking of former heavyweights, Mike Tyson stormed out of rehab just days after starting therapy for cocaine addiction. What? Would you stop him?
• Guy Richie is planning a "men only" vacation, further fueling suspician that his marriage to Madonna is on the rocks. And further fueling suspician that the trip is going to include some Lock-ing, Stock-ing, and Smoking Barrels, too.
• MySpace has begun posting public service ads that warn kids about online predators. Like Tom.
• A talk show host was fired after offering a listener money to kill comedian Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller.) He wasn't fired because he endorsed murder, he was fired because killing Penn Jillette should be something that somebody would want to do for free.
• Now that Katie's gone, Matt Lauer has signed a $13 million a year contract that keeps him on the Today show 'till 2011. Or till Katie comes crawling back.
• Paula Abdul is developing a line of jewelry for QVC. (here comes the worst joke you're ever going to read-- you've been warned) You can either have the jewelry shipped by mail, or you can get it Rush, Rush-ed. (Told you so.)