While You Were Destroying Your Lunch With Your Teeth

• Prince won't make an appearance on American Idol. Doesn't see any future Sheila E's in this crop of candidates.
• Teri Hatcher will be the highest paid actress in TV with a salary of $6 million. That covers at least one more week of botox maintenance.
• Ryan Seacrest buys Kevin Costner's house. But not his role as Jennifer Aniston's leading man in Rumor Has It. 
• Macaulay Culkin is cool with mixed reviews for his book Junior. Not as cool with mixed drinks, in fact sloppy.
• Britney is binge eating to numb pain of her relationship. But there are not enough Twinkies in the world to numb this one.
• Lindsay Lohan looks too American for Louis Vuitton's campaign. And by American they mean trashy.