Lara Croft: Boob Raider

The next installment of lonely guys' favorite video game, Tomb Raider, will not be released on April 11th like it was originally intended to be. Why? Because people discovered it contains something so offensive, so off-limits, so dangerous that it threatens not only our civil rights but our national security as well. Tomb Raider: Legends contains... a boobie.

That's right people. An animated, video game boobie. Is it visible to the naked eye? No. If you're playing the game like a normal person, running around shooting things and what not, would you be able to point it out? Nope. Not even if you were a boobie expert (like Kid Rock). According to Xboxic it is "beyond impossible" to see the breast in-game; you would only be able to find it if you were ripping textures from the files. I'm not sure what that means, but it does kind of sound dirty.

If you'd like, you can head over to Xboxic right now and see a picture of the offensive boobie in question. Or, if that doesn't float your boat, you can type the word "boobie" in google and see 1,840,000 results for real ones. That's 3,680,000 boobies. It's your call.