Morning Quick Hits: From Pumpkins to Postage

The American Film Institute's list of top 100 quotes is up, and I refuse to believe that William Shatner's "KHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN" is not on it. It's blasphemy and I wont stand for it.

Billy Corgan: "I want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams". Oh yeah Billy well I wanted a pony, a pool and a power wheels and I got jack shit. Boo-frikkin'-hoo.

Michael Jackson is now being sued by a woman who claims his dog bit her. Michael said this lawsuit is the worst thing to ever happen to him and he hopes it doesn't tarnish his image.

Elvis Costello cancels Paris concert for "health reasons." He's suffering from a mild case of "hasn't-released-a-really-great-album-in-almost-20-years."

Okay, this next link is so good it requires two separate jokes. Here they are:

Oprah was reportedly denied entry into Hermes boutique in Paris. In related news, France is *so* totally kicked out of her book club.

or

Oprah was reportedly denied entry into Hermes boutique in Paris. Once Oprah comes into some money and stops dressing like a dirty street whore she should TOTALLY go back there and show those snooty women up.

And finally, Japan is producing a Maria Sharapova postage stamp. Millions of Japanese business men have already proclaimed, "Yeah, I'd lick that."