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renee's diary
Dear Diary,
Well, I finaly did it, I finally married a rock star!
Now I know what you're thinking... "who is it? Is it Jack? You wrote a lot about Jack, is it him?" No! It's somebody much much better. It's Kenny Chesney! I'm Mrs. Kenny Chesney! The wife of a rock star! Wow! Take that Jack White!
I knew it wasn't meant to be with Jack because he never wrote a song about me. I really wanted him to, but he just wouldn't do it. Luckily, with Kenny I don't have to worry about that--he's ALREADY written a song about me! It's called, "You Had Me From Hello," and it's all about ME! Granted, it's kind of lame, but he means well.
But don't worry, I'm soooo over Jack it's ridiculous. In fact, just the other day I threw out all my White Stripes CDs to make a point. The point was, "I'm done with this crap, from now on I'm only going to listen to Kenny Chesney... and country music.... hooray." Actually, maybe I'll hold on to those CD's after all.
Right now the tabloids are probably working overtime to report that Kenny and I had only been dating for a few weeks before we decided to get married. I say what-evs! I knew I was going to marry him since day 1 (with Day 1 being alllll the way back in January.) We met at a Tsunami benefit-- he was performing and I was answering phones. I probably shouldn't say this, but thank God for the tsunami! OMG, I shouldn't even write that. I'm terrible!
But here we are today, married. Wow! Me. Mrs. Renee Zellweger Chesney. Wife of a rock star, or a Country Music star if you want to be a prick about it. Close enough! Yay!
May 10, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
FIRST!! this marriage is so out of the blue... why would you leave Damien Rice?
Posted by: lonecomic | May 10, 2005 12:37:16 PM
Thats okay, Jack still has Loretta Lynn.
you see the Country Music Connection?
Posted by: dudevalrock | May 10, 2005 4:12:18 PM
Isnt Kenny Chesney already married to a shitty actress? The one on the Jim Show.
Did they divorce?
Speaking of Cuntry, wheres Garth Brooks?
Posted by: Dudevalrock | May 10, 2005 4:14:46 PM
Now that she is a true texan, she can put on the weight again, maybe outfit herself with some rocky mountain jeans, the one with no ass pockets, get a belt buckle with a z on it, or c , and ride into the sunset with those squinty eyes of hers.
Posted by: dudevalrock | May 10, 2005 4:20:32 PM
Celebrity couples are having the best 'spring / summer' ever (okay, maybe best 'life' ever) but ...
Ben & Jen - A baby! (Maybe!)
Tom & Katie - Media exposure to boot
Brad & Angelina - Umm, are they a couple, aren't the a couple? Apparently no one cares, b/c we all *love* thinking they are!
Now Renee & Kenny ... could it get any more out of the media radar than that?
Think he took off his hat for the ceremony?
Posted by: 527 | May 10, 2005 4:57:20 PM
good for them I'm just sad to see him takenoff the market just whenI;m becoming avaiable he has to go asn get married. damn. oh well I wish them the best of luck and hey Kenny if she leaves ya you can come to my house I'll let you stay for a while as long as you promise to be my bedroom slave :) J/K LOL Good luck guys
Posted by: hot mama | May 10, 2005 5:36:42 PM
Alabama is CRUSHED!
Posted by: Xiaoxia | May 10, 2005 5:40:14 PM
Am I the only one thinking... Who the hell is Kenny Chesney? Seriously... I was the only one?
Posted by: Alexis | May 10, 2005 7:53:53 PM
For Kenny this may be the best thing ever for his career, and for Renee it may be the worst thing she's done since putting on all that weight for Bridget Jones's Diary 2.
Posted by: laplounge.com | May 10, 2005 11:17:40 PM
Even though she looks like shes been sucking on lemons for the better part of 10 years, she still looked good as B. Jones. I personally hate to see her off the market. Oh well.
Posted by: Spade | May 11, 2005 12:09:53 AM
I hope Jack kicks the shit out of that turtle-faced pussy. What was Renee thinking? Has she lost her mind?
Posted by: yucky | May 11, 2005 3:20:37 AM
dudevalrock, I think you're thinking of Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams...She was in the Father of the Bride movies and that According to Jim show
Posted by: elivspuddy | May 11, 2005 9:19:55 AM
Renee is not good looking in any manner.
Kenny is a good singer,but not do-able without the hat on! Brad Paisley and Kimberly are a very good looking couple however. A love sandwich would be acceptable.:)
Posted by: Kris | May 11, 2005 11:26:29 AM
i'm with ya, hot mama....this is just another thing it doesn't make sense for her to have. a marriage to kc and roles in chicago and bridget jones' diary. but that's cool....kenny still kicks ass. oh, and to alexis: kenny is the guy who sings 'she thinks my tractor's sexy', if that helps. hahaha....love it.
Posted by: akd5 | May 11, 2005 12:10:00 PM
LOL, renee is acting like bridget jones, finally. she's crazy to marry him.. who's up for betting ten bucks that they'll get divorced by the end of this year?
Posted by: elizabeth | May 11, 2005 1:44:06 PM
count me in!
Posted by: akd5 | May 11, 2005 3:25:06 PM
What did I do? *Sigh*
Weight: 135
Lottery Tickets bought: 2
Alcoholic Drinks consumed: 12
Men Fucked: My hubby (sloppy, hay in hair)
Marriage Proposals: One, hence my hubby-wubby-guee-tar-slingin'-Texas stud.
PS: Jack, I Love You, don't hate me!
Posted by: SoberSmokingFag | May 11, 2005 10:59:54 PM
lmao... oh god.
Posted by: alexis | May 11, 2005 11:35:27 PM
All I could say was fuckin'-A! At least his jeans weren't balls-tight--- let me rephrase that, at least he wasn't wearing jeans--- at his wedding that it.
But what the hell.
Congratulations!
P.S. Anyone wanna take bets on how long this one is gonna last?
Posted by: KristySYN | May 12, 2005 4:19:10 AM
they aint goin to last long! shes ugly and kenny is without is hat... once they see the real side.. they'll be like Whoa~
Posted by: Wilshire | May 12, 2005 12:32:48 PM
KENNY CHESNEY IS MINE BITCHES! IM THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD RUB HIS BALD HEAD! RENEE IS BUSTED! WTF IS KENNY THINKIN, HE WAS PROBABLY DRUNK
~~PEACE
Posted by: LASHAY | May 12, 2005 12:35:20 PM
I would just like to point out that she dated Jack White. Kenny must seemed like quite a catch to her after him! Renee must have really thought his tractor was sexy!
Posted by: Liz | May 15, 2005 11:36:29 PM
Well, all those truly deluded fans who thought that, because he was single, he would marry THEM will finally give up. Uh, on second thought they might just try to put out a hit on Renee! Because then, they could be "the one" who could heal his broken heart after his tragic loss. Hey 15 year olds are capable of ANYTHING!
Posted by: Pippi | May 17, 2005 11:26:34 AM
