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Paris, meet Pimp Juice
So there's some crazy guy nicknamed "Pimp Juice" currently serving time on Rikers Island because he was running a Manhattan call-girl ring. This 37-year-old porn king was raking in $3.6 million a year when he was busted for promoting prostitution, money laundering, and falsifying business records.
Anyway, since he's been locked up he hasn't stopped talking. In fact, just the other day he called Page 6 from the psychiatric ward and this is what he had to say:
"I could get $250,000 an hour for Paris Hilton with a four-hour minimum. I'm that good at what I do, and I have a feeling so is she. Do I think she'll take my offer seriously? Absolutely... Four hours a week of her time would gross $52 million this year and immediately spread her legend beyond Marilyn Monroe's proportions. So Paris, how about it? I dare you to contact my lawyer Mel Sachs to get the ball rolling."
So a million bucks for 4 Hours in Paris? For those of us who have seen her video with Rick Solomon, I'm not sure that that's exactly money well spent. I wonder what you get for $1 million. If I was going to part with that kind of money I'd work Paris hard-- make her paint my house, bake me cookies, detail my car... the list goes on and on.
I wonder what "Pimp Juice" would ask for other celebrities. I'm sure he could probably get $1 million for 4-hours with Lindsay Lohan too, and maybe Pamela Anderson. But what's the going rate for celebrities that could actually use the money? Like Anna Nicole Smith? Or any of the girls from Just the 10 of Us? Or Rosie O'Donnell?
I mean, I just want to know because I'm... curious... Yeah, that's it. I'm curious. Yep. Mmm hmmm. (i hope they believe me...)
March 31, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
Mwuahahahha. I am victorious.
Posted by: lizardando | Mar 31, 2005 12:46:01 PM
lizardando, your 1st post doesn't count because you had nothing to say, you dildo.
I'M FIRST!!!
Posted by: seven | Mar 31, 2005 12:58:05 PM
seven didn't say anything, either, so that makes me the first poster!
Way to go, tootie!
Posted by: tootie | Mar 31, 2005 1:00:35 PM
Look, I'm the first one to post, so I'm the first one to post. How hard is that?! Seven, tootie; don't be so goddam ignorant. Seven, stop calling everyone a dildo. Just because your momma leaves them laying around the place doesn't mean you have to talk about them all the time.
I am victorious -- get over it!!!
Posted by: lizardando | Mar 31, 2005 1:03:52 PM
Don't you talk about my mother! My mother was a saint!
Posted by: seven | Mar 31, 2005 1:05:03 PM
I knew your mother and she was a skanky whore.
Posted by: Catwoman | Mar 31, 2005 1:05:48 PM
Yippie -- another meltdown! Seems like seven is kinda, um, fragile *upstairs*...
Posted by: tootie | Mar 31, 2005 1:07:24 PM
Can't we all just have a fake beer?
Posted by: TEX | Mar 31, 2005 1:08:25 PM
Not to beat a dead horse but has anyone seen the recent BK commercials for the new whopper-sized breakfast burger (whatever they call it -- the enormous something or other)? God, it is so funny! And as someone already pointed out, BK is really going for the Black market, as this commerical is all about the Black people. Its even got fat-assed Black dancers doing some crappy rendition of a fan dance, and at the end, when they flash their butt cheeks (in profile) you can see how god-awful huge they are. Clearly BK is telling Black folks to go out and pig out on their food, and get even more fat-assed.
The thing is, if BK was a white-owned corp pulling this kind of racist marketing ploy, the NAACP and Jesse Jackson would be on them like, well... like white on rice.
Um, I'll have a couple, please, with a super-size fries and a biggie diet coke.
Posted by: Dougie_G | Mar 31, 2005 1:18:13 PM
Tex, I'll take one of those beers after seeing the trash that's littered about this formerly fun blog.
Posted by: Hellrazor | Mar 31, 2005 1:42:19 PM
We don't have many black people around here. Just Amish. They don't each much fast food. I would try one, just to see what the fuss is all about, but now I'm too embarrassed to even order it.
Posted by: SHEL | Mar 31, 2005 2:41:38 PM
Liked the just the ten of us comment,
Old school like I like it.
How about the girls from the original facts of life, or the show rags to riches. or that show about models, or the waitresses from Alice.
Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 31, 2005 4:04:57 PM
Would Nicole Ritchie, be like the earlybird special, maybe at a discounted price?
Posted by: dudevalrock | Mar 31, 2005 4:06:51 PM
Why make her do chores?
Just bite the bullet and buy a DVD of the Simple Life. Wow, she's doing work...on my TV screen! For only a fraction of the price!
Posted by: Brainstrain | Mar 31, 2005 10:48:21 PM
I don't think I could stand Paris for 4 hours. There's something about that pet rat of hers I don't like. Tinkerbell is her real pimp. Where's Tifanny Thiessen? Is she available to wash my car?
Posted by: Spade | Mar 31, 2005 11:47:42 PM
Hey, does anyone notice how fugly Paris is? Or... does a billion dollars and a skanky attitude adequately cover obvious homeliness.
I'd really like to know what you all think...
Posted by: SHEL | Apr 1, 2005 12:41:26 PM
Alright, this is the real Dougie G talking here, whoever keeps posting with my name please don't curse. I don't mind you making funny, witty comments, just as long as you don't curse. I might be a lot of things but I'm no potty mouth!
Posted by: Dougie G | Apr 1, 2005 2:23:57 PM
Sorry about that. My bad.
Posted by: Dougie_G | Apr 1, 2005 2:38:06 PM
np. Good luck with the new found fame.
Posted by: Dougie G | Apr 1, 2005 3:39:55 PM
As posted (and slightly edited) on the previous page of this blog:
For those of you who think that Shel, Flutterby,Stef, and Kat have returned to this blog...I have news for you...they most definatly HAVE NOT! In fact, this is the first time I've posted since I "thanked" the A$$hole(s) responsible for chasing them off!
Tex, my man...I'm sorry but you've been blogging with an imposter...
MIRROR, I know its you...dude...this isn't funny man....I appreciate your attempt to save this blog, god knows it needs saving, but man...this is pathetic.
Posted by: Hellrazor | Apr 1, 2005 3:52:04 PM
I'm right here, baby. Just waiting for my husband to come home so I can cook dinner.
Posted by: SHEL | Apr 1, 2005 6:55:58 PM
Anna Nicole Smith doesn't need any money. She married that old guy, he died, and she got his millions, remember??
Posted by: sumama | Apr 1, 2005 10:50:33 PM
I think I would pay a million dollars just to see Paris give "Tinkerbell" a walk on the freakin ground for once!
Posted by: Bryant Pino | Apr 10, 2005 9:10:02 PM
